i dunno why. but i feel trapped between compressed walls. with all these confusions happening around me. i dont know how i'm supposed to feel, what i'm supposed to do, who i'm supposed to go to. i feel as if everything is just really very wrong.
i wish irah was here with me. ):


so many bad things seems to be happening around me. what with the screwed organ past i have to bring along with me everywhere i go. i'm trying my very best to think about all the positive thoughts about it, but everytime i try, i think about the negative ones instead. ):

i'm stuck in the middle of two different parties. im so close to both. and now, both seems to be against each other. and i feel lost. it's like, there's no particular direction for me to go to. i never felt so weak ): i'm trying, really am trying.

there's mid years ahead some more. and i have a feeling that i'm gonna screw all my papers. sigh.

then i seem to be the middle person in your relationship. why bring me into it? i mean, i'm just a normal friend of his. you make me feel as though i'm just SUPER close to him. yes, i feel good having known to have someone i just knew who trusts me so much. but perhaps sometimes i cant help you too much. it's my pleasure to help you, really. but sometimes i really need time to think about myself first. i seem to be worrying more for you people rather than for myself. even motivations by gf or mr brightside or whoever sometimes doesnt work.
but really, i'm trying to overcome everything.
really, really, really trying to.



i'm moving on, for you showed me light through this darkness i'm in